13Jan

Which came first?

Filed in fashion | Products | Self Love 4 Comments

I’ve been thinking about something that reminds me of the age old question; which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Here’s the modern day question: Do you feel sexy because you wear lingerie? Or do you wear lingerie because you feel sexy? I still haven’t figured it out, but researching it sure is fun!

Unfortunately, in our society women are taught to focus on their flaws instead of their natural beauty. The more I embrace and celebrate my curves, the more confident I feel. All I know is, each time I play dress-up with a flirty petticoat or I lace myself up in that ever-so-hot Valentina underbust corset, I feel a little bit sexier! What’s your favorite dress-up outfit or sexy ensemble that makes you feel amazing?

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15May

The Fat Tree

Filed in Self Love 16 Comments

They looked so very happy.  He was holding her from behind, swaying to the music coming from the band playing on the outdoor stage ahead of them.  She would turn to him and they would kiss a bit, hug one another and then dance together some more.  They were probably in their early to mid twenties and it was a pleasure to watch them. 

I wanted to go talk to them, find out their story, and ask how they met and how long they had been a couple.  I didn’t.  I was with some dear friends and didn’t want to leave the wonderful spot that I was in listening to the same great band while I was soaking up the sun and the love from the friendship circle that I was with.

Why is it that some people so easily find a great partner while others seem to be in a holding pattern, circling around and around, never really finding a place to land…or someone to land on?  Grin.    Is it really as some say, that only thin and beautiful women get to have the dating/loving fun?  I hear so many women saying that they need to lose weight.  And when I ask them what losing weight would do for them, their answers are pretty standard.

“I could have a boyfriend if I were thinner.”

“I would have better self-esteem.”

“Fat people can’t get a good job.”

“I could have better clothes, nothing for fat people looks good.”

The list is long and distinguished and I am always willing to listen.  And then lovingly, am always willing to give the advice that I am CERTAIN they want from me.  Ok, so maybe not everyone is looking for my advice, but I generally offer it anyhow.

I like to say that you can hang anything on “THE FAT TREE”, but it is pretty crazy.  You know it, right?  The fat tree:  If I were thinner I would have better clothes, a better job, better sex, better friends, better anything.  So they hang everything on the “Fat Tree.”  And the tree shakes and shudders under the weight of all of the crap hung on it. Continue Reading

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17Apr

Re-define the Norm

Filed in Plus Size Models | Self Love 4 Comments

Okay. I was having a girls’ night the other night and before the movie we started talking about women’s studies and somehow got onto the topic of women’s image. We went all over the place; talking about suffrage, women’s rights, the lack of chivalry and politeness in general (sorry guys, but chivalry just isn’t as common as it used to be!) and of course, women’s self esteem and self-image in the world today.

There once was a time any man would hurry to open a door or pull out a chair. You would pass by and hats would tip to you left and right. In the society we live in now, that has become a rarity. These days it’s more common than not, to have an elevator door close on you as you rush to make it in, and hats are left on as if stuck with superglue.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying all men behave like this. It’s just the number of those who have lost their manners has increased dramatically over the last few generations. There are still some men (and if you find one, keep him!) that will open the door for you, and not only you. To be a true gentleman they will hold it for you and the group walking in behind you. They will hurry to open your car door, and let you pass ahead of them as you walk through a tight squeeze on the sidewalk.

Some would argue that this decline in society contributes to the lack of self esteem and self respect that we see in the women of today. I even heard a close friend of mine say “Men make me feel the worst about myself. Sometimes I feel as if I don’t even deserve to have a door held open for me anymore.” We know it isn’t anything personal men, but women are complicated and observant beings and the little things mean a lot. I’m sure it also stems from the difference in how boys and girls are raised. Girls are brought up awaiting their fairytale prince and being told to stay clear of the wrong kind of guy. However boys these days are being taught less and less about manners and chivalry, replacing Cotillion with PS3′s and YouTube. Continue Reading

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03Apr

Give Me What I Need…

Filed in Self Love 15 Comments

I am pretty sure she didn’t even know why she was saying those things.  I am pretty sure that she learned this type of dialogue from friends or family or society in general.  I wasn’t angry, just amazed. This has happened many times in my life and continues to this day. 

Let me tell the story.  You decide.

I have been in theater, mainly musical theater, for many years.  I began in the 7th grade at Newhall Junior High School in Wyoming, Michigan, continued throughout my school years and then Community Theater.  I have sung, acted, directed and music directed as well.  

I was in a production in Lansing, Michigan.  I loved this theater and the group of friends that I had become acquainted with.  I have a dear friend that directed me in a show and we have been friends for well over 20 years now.  

I had a great role in a production and worked with several amazingly talented actors.  We had gone all through the rehearsals and we were actually now in the performance piece.  I was on stage for most of the show and had several costume changes in the dressing room.  Each night I found myself with just one other actress in the room, by ourselves, making costume changes.  

I will call this actress Nina.  

Nina was a petite brunette.  She was a brilliant actress and singer.  She was very well known in the area and received many accolades, both in person and in the media.  (I set this stage so you KNOW that she was complimented and raved about on a regular basis.)  

It began the first night of the performance.  When she and I were alone in the dressing room and changing our costumes, she looked in the mirror while in her pantyhose and bra and said, “Hmmmmm, I think that I am looking a little fat.” Continue Reading

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01Jul

Beauty Isn’t Just in the Eye of the Beholder—It’s Inside Us

Filed in Pop Culture | Self Love 4 Comments

We’ve all seen the Dove beauty campaigns. This short video, entitled “Onslaught,” is the most recent of the series and a perfect example of the media’s powerful effect on women’s beauty and body issues.

Every day we’re overwhelmed by images of what the advertising world thinks is the womanly ideal—someone who’s forever young, bone thin, and ready to change the way she looks with plastic surgery even if she’s gorgeous just the way she is.

We’d love to have your opinion on the impact of the media on women in today’s world. Let us know what you think by commenting on this post.

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