Last weekend I went to Malibu beach with my dear friend Ross who was visiting from Texas. Ross is 6’7” so standing next to him in my 5’8” bare feet makes me feel petite!  I decided to wear my new black bikini and polka dot sarong and carry my Hips and Curves tote bag for our day at the beach.   We arrived, spotted a nice secluded place and set up our blankets and umbrellas.  It was perfect nap weather so we stripped down to our swimsuits and sunscreen, laid hand in hand, and soaked up a little sun while the breeze blew and the waves crashed.  There is something very special about being with good friends and sharing quiet time.

My little moment of heaven was interrupted, however, by a group of young people who decided to set up camp next to us.  My first reaction was being annoyed for losing our peace and quiet, but that was quickly replaced by a brief, panicky moment of self awareness that I was laying in a bikini, all 250lbs of me, without a sarong or anything.

‘”Please lord, don’t let these kids make any fat jokes about me in front of my best friend.”

I flashed back to 5 years ago when I was kissing a cute guy outside a club and some idiot shouted, “Damn, that is one big woman!” I could have curled up and died of embarrassment.

With that memory buzzing in my mind, I just tried to focus on how nice it felt to be at the beach and how I had every right to be there in my bikini as much as anyone else.   I blocked out all the conversation, all the noise and just connected with nature.

I am usually confident in my appearance so these things rarely cross my mind, but there is something about being in a bikini that can tear down the self assurance of any respectable gorgeous woman.  I had to do a little extra work on my self esteem muscle this time to remind myself that me and my luscious curves deserve to enjoy a day at the beach, even in LA!

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