Give Me What I Need…

Filed in Self Love 15 Comments

I am pretty sure she didn’t even know why she was saying those things.  I am pretty sure that she learned this type of dialogue from friends or family or society in general.  I wasn’t angry, just amazed. This has happened many times in my life and continues to this day. 

Let me tell the story.  You decide.

I have been in theater, mainly musical theater, for many years.  I began in the 7th grade at Newhall Junior High School in Wyoming, Michigan, continued throughout my school years and then Community Theater.  I have sung, acted, directed and music directed as well.  

I was in a production in Lansing, Michigan.  I loved this theater and the group of friends that I had become acquainted with.  I have a dear friend that directed me in a show and we have been friends for well over 20 years now.  

I had a great role in a production and worked with several amazingly talented actors.  We had gone all through the rehearsals and we were actually now in the performance piece.  I was on stage for most of the show and had several costume changes in the dressing room.  Each night I found myself with just one other actress in the room, by ourselves, making costume changes.  

I will call this actress Nina.  

Nina was a petite brunette.  She was a brilliant actress and singer.  She was very well known in the area and received many accolades, both in person and in the media.  (I set this stage so you KNOW that she was complimented and raved about on a regular basis.)  

It began the first night of the performance.  When she and I were alone in the dressing room and changing our costumes, she looked in the mirror while in her pantyhose and bra and said, “Hmmmmm, I think that I am looking a little fat.” Continue Reading

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Skinny vs. Curvy

Filed in Plus Size Models | Pop Culture 29 Comments

I was reading one of the lingerie trade magazines on Sunday morning and saw page after page of skinny, boney women in lingerie. This particular publication isn’t always that bad, and to be fair, more and more companies are heading in the direction of “real” women. However this issue was extreme. There was one model that was bone-thin with almost nothing between her skin and her skeleton. The angles of her body were almost freakish as she would thrust out a hip or turn her body at a certain angle. I sat back and thought of all the Rubens paintings and how being round and healthy was considered attractive in sixteenth and seventeenth centuries and how people today, especially in the fashion world, would disagree. They might look at a Ruben and wonder how those voluptuous figures were ever considered attractive or desirable.

I wondered if our kids or grandkids would look back at our old magazines years from now and see the models with protruding hip bones and rib cages and hollow cheeks and be amazed by what we thought was “sexy”. Throughout history the feminine ideal was curvy, fleshy and plump. Now we’re into this skinny = sexy phase, with no room to appreciate the incredibly rich and vast array of differences. Different body types, different shapes, different hair and skins colors.

Whether we like to admit it or not, the media still influences trends and tells us what is “in” and “attractive”. As I was trying to step back and look at these pictures from a totally objective stand point (i.e. an alien landing on Earth and being shown a series of photographs, or someone from the past time-traveling into the future) I wondered, would they pick out these skinny, angular, women as the most attractive? Or would they pick the ones who were rounder and curvier? Of course in my opinion, the fuller figures that are luscious, sensual and soft and feminine would be the obvious choice. But then, it’s hard for me to be objective. I love hips and curves!

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