Curvy Confidential

Ok everyone…lets drop that weight!! That’s right, let’s get rid of it once and for all.

If you know me or what I stand for…you may think that I have had a hit on my head, or a change of heart, or a lapse in all that I write and speak about.

Not true.

I actually mean it.  Lets all lose some weight!  Oh, it is probably not the “weight” that you may think.  I am talking about all of the self-doubt, the degrading thoughts within your head, and all of the other WEIGHT that you pile on yourself when talking about your body and its girth/weight/poundage/pooch/fat…or any other word that you could use to diminish all of the real beauty that you actually do possess.   I have been working with, coaching, counseling and teaching people (not only women either) about body issues and self-loathing a lot lately.    The topic is always so fascinating to me and continues to be.   What I am finding is that many of us pile on the “weight” of carrying around a bad attitude and it is HEAVY.

Self-speak is constantly occurring.   Our job is to re-program, if you will, our negative thoughts about what we look like.   Why not make the choice to drop the bad thinking and replace with thoughts of all that we actually are that is great and all of the wonderful qualities that we do possess.

So I am suggesting that you drop a few unnecessary pounds of criticism. And not just about yourself, of others as well.   Stop looking for the seeming flaws in yourself and point out to yourself all of the beauty of who you are.  And begin to notice the truth about the beauty in others too.

Confidence is the best accessory a person can put on, a wise and loving man once told me.   I loved that.   I still do.   I still remember it like it was yesterday and it was many years ago.     Look lovingly at your reflection rather than with a critical, judgmental eye.   You are PERFECT just the way you are.   Remember that.   So dress it up, sexify it, strut it, move and dance it, adore it…it being you!

With love, from a “weightless” woman.

xoxo Wendy

Hey Curvy Girls!

Summer is almost over, can you believe it? On Friday I left the office a little early to go to the Hollywood Bowl to see John Williams and the LA Philharmonic. For anyone who’s never been, the Hollywood Bowl is a huge outdoor amphitheatre nestled at the foot of the Hollywood hills. You sit outside under the stars (we had a gorgeous full moon that night!) and eat a picnic dinner and listen to amazing music. I went with my sweetheart, Dennis, and his boss and her husband. The four of us have gone to the Bowl together for the past few years and it’s now become a tradition. It’s a great way to celebrate the end of summer and welcome in the fall.

The beginning of September, in my opinion, is the best time of year to go to The Bowl. The days have been hot and humid in LA, but the evenings cool down to somewhere in the high 60’s. It was especially perfect timing this year since we had just launched our new site on Monday and I could finally kick back and relax. It had been a stressful few months for all of us at Hips & Curves. Everyone worked really hard and put in extra hours to make this launch a success – and it was!

We sat in one of the boxes near the front and had a three-course picnic dinner served to us in our seats. The three of them had grilled lamb sirloin and I had pan-seared salmon that was so tender and moist it melted in my mouth. Good friends, good food and good conversation. It was a perfect evening!

To top it all off, I had ‘borrowed’ a sample from the last photo shoot on my way out the office Friday afternoon. It’s actually a bathrobe but I wore it as a long sweater over my lightweight t-shirt, jeans and high heels. Although I loved the music, I was even more in love with this robe and had to write about it. I carried it with me because it was still too warm when we got there but I put it on around 9:00’ish when it was starting to cool down. Not only was it the most comfortable thing I’ve ever worn in public, but I got tons of compliments on it too. Dennis asked me when I’d gotten it – and was surprised when I whispered to him it was actually a bathrobe from our photo shoot. We don’t have it in stock yet, but we’ll be getting our first shipment the beginning of October. The one I wore was black, but I’m gonna have to get a white one too. The thing I love about it is you can wear it out as a sweater/jacket – as well as a soft, comfy robe at home. It’s all about value these days. A robe that doubles as a sweater or a jacket? I’ll take two!

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Oh my god,  here I am, a straight male writing about feelings and emotions.

Wait… here I am, a straight male writing about feelings and emotions, while living in West Hollywood, California and sitting  next to my super cute little Chihuahua.

Damn…. All macho has left the building.

While it’s true, I bantered last week about the “More to Love” crazy’s, I feel compelled to do a follow up.  Yes, I was sucked in again to the dating spectacle just to see if they ceased and desisted smacking the girls weight, menstrual cycle and other bits of “to much information” across the screen.

I am pleased to announce that the producers are human and chose not to repeat that offense, but, when can I expect these “love contestants” to learn how to be functioning beings?

Darlings, here is a bit of advise that you didn’t ask for.

These men in your life did not ignore you, nor did they “pick you last” or not fall in love with you solely because of your weight!  Do I need to repeat this? Ok… I will.

NO ONE MAKES A LONG TERM DATING DECISION BASED ON A SINGULAR FACTOR!

The sniffling baby cry-a-lots’ on the show seem to blame their lack of dating, sex, world peace or worsening national economy solely on the fact that they love food.

Of course, we are all immediately attracted to a certain body type, smell, look or attitude, but we don’t base every decision on those split second attractions.   If your physicality is not something that rivals Mrs. ‘Almost’ Pitt or the models on HipsAndCurves.com, then own it and step up to the other 8 million options that we possess or can discover!

Learn a new skill, smile more, laugh more, make others laugh more, be more at peace, do something…ANYTHING…better than anyone else!  It’s as simple as that!

That’s what attracts us, sustains friendships and long term relationships.

Girls, are you honestly going to feel terrible because not every random sperm donor thinks you are perfection at every second of every day?  Why not focus on what you want? Focus on what YOU are attracted to and emanate that from your gorgeous, curvy body!!

Wear sexy lingerie, or wear flannel jammies or wear nothing at all! Everyone has different desires and not every day is the same. The only one that you need to please and stay true to… is YOU.

I have experienced women out there that will find excuses for everything in life because of one small (or large) segment of their being!  Can you imagine a big girl, criticizing another big girl, because she’s NOT a true BBW?

Nothing is sexier to this odd ball chef than a confident woman who smiles and doesn’t try very hard to impress.  I’ll talk to the seemingly average looking girl at the bar that just sits and smiles and enjoys her bar snacks and booze with far more vigor than a woman who is trying to channel the evil Paris Hiltons’ of the world and overworking everything she has just to desperately attract the attention of…anyone that will listen.

We each have unlimited access to find what makes us special.  When the stars are aligned, or the fates are tested, or the booze is flowing freely, we will discover another person that just so happens to like one, two or fifty of those special parts of our essence and a friendship is born!

Be consistent, be yourself, be proud of what you offer, or if you are not, then change it in to something that you are proud of.   Simple no?

Ok lovely women of all shapes, ask yourself the next time you feel slighted because another person didn’t like your rolls as much as Entenmanns…would I really want to talk to a “tool” that loves everything about me except my dress size?

Until we meet again, smile more, drink better champagne and love that everyday, we get another chance to make things better in our life.

It’s happened to all of us one way or another, even if we don’t want to admit it… Well, I will. Yes, I’ve just been STOOD UP.  It might be the karma of the universe getting back at me for the few times I’ve stood guys up in the past.   However, I can pretty much guarantee that I’ve never stood anyone up cold, that is, without a call, email, or text explaining I couldn’t make it.

This past Saturday, I drove to the Valley for a date with an Englishmen I met over an online dating site. We had a great email exchange, picked a day, time, and place, and that was it.  I was looking forward to meeting a new person and hearing his story over some nice Italian food and a glass of wine. Unfortunately for me, the dude didn’t show up.

So, my friends, this is my advice to look cool in case you get stood up.

1. If you arrive at the restaurant first, tell the waiter you are just a party of one – but you may have a friend joining you.

2. Bring a book or a newspaper to keep yourself busy in case you want to stay for lunch on your own. (I did and ended up flirting with the adorable restaurant owner who asked for my number!)

3. Let go of the anger… nobody looks pretty when they’re mad…. And you want to look pretty in case there are other cute single guys there!

As my beloved Granny would say,

“Girl, you need to get up, brush the dust off your butt, and get back in the saddle.”