Curvy Confidential

It’s happened to all of us one way or another, even if we don’t want to admit it… Well, I will. Yes, I’ve just been STOOD UP.  It might be the karma of the universe getting back at me for the few times I’ve stood guys up in the past.   However, I can pretty much guarantee that I’ve never stood anyone up cold, that is, without a call, email, or text explaining I couldn’t make it.

This past Saturday, I drove to the Valley for a date with an Englishmen I met over an online dating site. We had a great email exchange, picked a day, time, and place, and that was it.  I was looking forward to meeting a new person and hearing his story over some nice Italian food and a glass of wine. Unfortunately for me, the dude didn’t show up.

So, my friends, this is my advice to look cool in case you get stood up.

1. If you arrive at the restaurant first, tell the waiter you are just a party of one – but you may have a friend joining you.

2. Bring a book or a newspaper to keep yourself busy in case you want to stay for lunch on your own. (I did and ended up flirting with the adorable restaurant owner who asked for my number!)

3. Let go of the anger… nobody looks pretty when they’re mad…. And you want to look pretty in case there are other cute single guys there!

As my beloved Granny would say,

“Girl, you need to get up, brush the dust off your butt, and get back in the saddle.”

I just came home from my absolute favorite indulgence that I must share with you.  It’s called a Korean Spa.  I live down the street from one and treat myself once a week. The Korean spa is an absolute delight for the senses.  It is a wonderful bonding experience – all the ladies are so friendly – and it is nice to be around bodies of all shapes, sizes, and ages.  It always comforts me that in all the time I’ve been going to the spa, I have never seen a ‘perfect’ body.  They’re all perfect in their imperfection.

Back to the spa.. first a shower and you must put your hair up.   You then transition between soaking in Jacuzzi’s, hot tea baths, ice baths, wet sauna, dry sauna, oxygen sauna and culminated with a nap on a jade tile floor wrapped up like a burrito. That is just the tip of the iceberg though.  What I just described is my typical weekly visit to the spa which takes about 2-3 hours and puts me back a measly $15 dollars.

What I really want to share with you is the monthly spa treatment that I indulge in.  It’s called the Milk and Honey Body Smoothie.   First, I go for a quick soak, from there my therapist retrieves me and lays me down on her table.  She drenches me with warm milk containing citrus oil and then the fun begins.    I get scrubbed from head to toe with silk mitts that exfoliate every inch of my body and leave me slippery smooth. What follows next is a pineapple body shampoo, another exfoliation, and then a scalp massage with essential oil before a shampoo and conditioning treatment.   It’s usually by this point the stress that has built up over the past month has been released and I’ve become one with the experience. Continue Reading »

I had another date this week and his name was Marcus… who I also met on the curvy girl site.  He is a partner at his law firm (sounds exciting, but actually means he never has time to spend with you).  He is a single father, marriage and family minded, a few years older than me, and incredibly intelligent.   Seemed too good to be true, right?  He took me out for drinks and a little dancing in a really cool place downtown, but unfortunately there weren’t sufficient sparks to make a fire.   Also considering he lives in San Diego, is a snorer, and emotionally high maintenance, it was mutually decided to not pursue a second date.  

One thing about Marcus that troubled me was that in his profile he listed his body type as average – but in reality he was at least 300lbs.   I wish people wouldn’t misrepresent themselves that way.  I’ve dated stocky/chubby guys in the past, but I think I’m developing a preference for lean and fit guys.   I realize this sounds hypocritical, but if men can have a preference for curvy girls, then I think it’s fair for me to have a preference for fit guys…. We all have our preferences, right?

 What do you think?  Is it “sizist” to have a preference in physique?

I just came back from a nice vacation with family in Texas and have re-entered the dating scene running – and with fresh enthusiasm and confidence.   There is something about being in Texas – with strong, healthy, BIG, down-to-earth people that really fortifies me and erases any bit of negative self-image that may have crept in due to the challenge of being a size 16 single woman living in Los Angeles.

I had a first date this week  with this guy named Derek…who I met through a dating site for curvy girls.   Going on dates from the curvy site is usually less stressful for me since I know these men are going to LOVE my curves.  On other dating sites – for the general public – you run into the chance of meeting guys who don’t really like curvy girls, but will make exceptions… I don’t want to be anyone’s exception!

Anyhow, Derek is a few years younger than me.  I haven’t dated a younger man in lord knows how long and now I remember why.   Derek was very sweet, very cute, but not very in to me, even though he kissed me on the lips during dinner on our date (I HATE the first kiss being rushed).   He only texted me the next day – how rude – Life is just too short to spend time with a guy who is not head over heels for you.    I think texting is so impersonal.   At least, I got to dress up and go to a nice restaurant, so that was pleasant, but unfortunately just not a love connection.

What do you think about dating younger men (Derek excluded) and the whole cougar phenomenon?  Can true love ever bloom when there’s an age difference?  Younger women dating older men is an accepted norm in our society.  Is the reverse now true?

I’ve always been interested in what makes men attracted to certain women so I decided to ask three of my friends to tell me why they love dating curvy girls like us…. Here are their answers…

From Manuel – a civil engineer and one of my dear friends from Italy:

Ciao Misty! Here are some thoughts to your question… thanks for asking.

I think what I like most and I would extend many men like about bigger women is the absolute appearance of the female form.  Many women, while trying to stay thin or exercise too much are coming to a point where they look more like men dressed up like women.

When you combine the softer appearance of a real woman with a proportioned body, the image conveys the idea of a woman who fully appreciates all that life has to offer, who seeks every joy in life and that shows to the world her appreciation of Joy.  Furthermore, it enhances and boosts all the sexual symbols that are embedded in our brains, and the desire of experiencing all that fulfillment is pervading!

hmmm… I can’t wait for my Italian vacation later this year to get some of that appreciation in person!

From Adam – an extremely fun and dynamic CEO from Los Angeles:

Okay, let me start off by saying that I love women. I love their femininity, their sweetness and their softness.  This goes hand-in-glove with what you’re asking.  Crudely, I’m drawn to hips and butts and boobs.  More subtlety, however, I love women’s curves.  It’s the curves in a woman’s silhouette that melt me every time.   I like feeling wrapped in love, enveloped, if you will, and a “skinny” girl just can’t hold me the way a woman of substance can.

As for the “look” of a curvy girl, there’s just something about natural cleavage and the soft yielding flesh of a healthy figure that makes me swoon every time.

Ah yes, there is nothing I love more than making a man swoon!

And finally my favorite sentiment 

From Matt – a blue collar guy from the Midwest with a heart of gold:

You know, there is a place between the shoulder and hip that is meant for an arm.   I mean… have you ever driven through Nebraska?   It’s flat and boring and I think that is why not too many people live there.   I like scenery and points of reference, terrain that lets you know where your at. 

Well said, darlin’… I’m happy to be your road map anytime!

We want to hear from other men – what makes you attracted to curvy women?