07Aug

Table for One

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It’s happened to all of us one way or another, even if we don’t want to admit it… Well, I will. Yes, I’ve just been STOOD UP.  It might be the karma of the universe getting back at me for the few times I’ve stood guys up in the past.   However, I can pretty much guarantee that I’ve never stood anyone up cold, that is, without a call, email, or text explaining I couldn’t make it.

This past Saturday, I drove to the Valley for a date with an Englishmen I met over an online dating site. We had a great email exchange, picked a day, time, and place, and that was it.  I was looking forward to meeting a new person and hearing his story over some nice Italian food and a glass of wine. Unfortunately for me, the dude didn’t show up.

So, my friends, this is my advice to look cool in case you get stood up.

1. If you arrive at the restaurant first, tell the waiter you are just a party of one – but you may have a friend joining you.

2. Bring a book or a newspaper to keep yourself busy in case you want to stay for lunch on your own. (I did and ended up flirting with the adorable restaurant owner who asked for my number!)

3. Let go of the anger… nobody looks pretty when they’re mad…. And you want to look pretty in case there are other cute single guys there!

As my beloved Granny would say,

“Girl, you need to get up, brush the dust off your butt, and get back in the saddle.”

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10Jul

The Importance of Treating Yourself Well

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I just came home from my absolute favorite indulgence that I must share with you.  It’s called a Korean Spa.  I live down the street from one and treat myself once a week. The Korean spa is an absolute delight for the senses.  It is a wonderful bonding experience – all the ladies are so friendly – and it is nice to be around bodies of all shapes, sizes, and ages.  It always comforts me that in all the time I’ve been going to the spa, I have never seen a ‘perfect’ body.  They’re all perfect in their imperfection.

Back to the spa.. first a shower and you must put your hair up.   You then transition between soaking in Jacuzzi’s, hot tea baths, ice baths, wet sauna, dry sauna, oxygen sauna and culminated with a nap on a jade tile floor wrapped up like a burrito. That is just the tip of the iceberg though.  What I just described is my typical weekly visit to the spa which takes about 2-3 hours and puts me back a measly $15 dollars.

What I really want to share with you is the monthly spa treatment that I indulge in.  It’s called the Milk and Honey Body Smoothie.   First, I go for a quick soak, from there my therapist retrieves me and lays me down on her table.  She drenches me with warm milk containing citrus oil and then the fun begins.    I get scrubbed from head to toe with silk mitts that exfoliate every inch of my body and leave me slippery smooth. What follows next is a pineapple body shampoo, another exfoliation, and then a scalp massage with essential oil before a shampoo and conditioning treatment.   It’s usually by this point the stress that has built up over the past month has been released and I’ve become one with the experience. Continue Reading

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29Jun

Malibu Misty

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Last weekend I went to Malibu beach with my dear friend Ross who was visiting from Texas. Ross is 6’7” so standing next to him in my 5’8” bare feet makes me feel petite!  I decided to wear my new black bikini and polka dot sarong and carry my Hips and Curves tote bag for our day at the beach.   We arrived, spotted a nice secluded place and set up our blankets and umbrellas.  It was perfect nap weather so we stripped down to our swimsuits and sunscreen, laid hand in hand, and soaked up a little sun while the breeze blew and the waves crashed.  There is something very special about being with good friends and sharing quiet time.

My little moment of heaven was interrupted, however, by a group of young people who decided to set up camp next to us.  My first reaction was being annoyed for losing our peace and quiet, but that was quickly replaced by a brief, panicky moment of self awareness that I was laying in a bikini, all 250lbs of me, without a sarong or anything.

‘”Please lord, don’t let these kids make any fat jokes about me in front of my best friend.”

I flashed back to 5 years ago when I was kissing a cute guy outside a club and some idiot shouted, “Damn, that is one big woman!” I could have curled up and died of embarrassment.

With that memory buzzing in my mind, I just tried to focus on how nice it felt to be at the beach and how I had every right to be there in my bikini as much as anyone else.   I blocked out all the conversation, all the noise and just connected with nature.

I am usually confident in my appearance so these things rarely cross my mind, but there is something about being in a bikini that can tear down the self assurance of any respectable gorgeous woman.  I had to do a little extra work on my self esteem muscle this time to remind myself that me and my luscious curves deserve to enjoy a day at the beach, even in LA!

Want to discuss this further? Check out our FORUM

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28May

Misty’s Dating Adventures Part 2

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I had another date this week and his name was Marcus… who I also met on the curvy girl site.  He is a partner at his law firm (sounds exciting, but actually means he never has time to spend with you).  He is a single father, marriage and family minded, a few years older than me, and incredibly intelligent.   Seemed too good to be true, right?  He took me out for drinks and a little dancing in a really cool place downtown, but unfortunately there weren’t sufficient sparks to make a fire.   Also considering he lives in San Diego, is a snorer, and emotionally high maintenance, it was mutually decided to not pursue a second date.  

One thing about Marcus that troubled me was that in his profile he listed his body type as average – but in reality he was at least 300lbs.   I wish people wouldn’t misrepresent themselves that way.  I’ve dated stocky/chubby guys in the past, but I think I’m developing a preference for lean and fit guys.   I realize this sounds hypocritical, but if men can have a preference for curvy girls, then I think it’s fair for me to have a preference for fit guys…. We all have our preferences, right?

 What do you think?  Is it “sizist” to have a preference in physique?

 

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29Apr

Misty’s Dating Adventures – Part 1

Filed in Behind the scenes | Dating | Pop Culture 10 Comments

 

I just came back from a nice vacation with family in Texas and have re-entered the dating scene running – and with fresh enthusiasm and confidence.   There is something about being in Texas – with strong, healthy, BIG, down-to-earth people that really fortifies me and erases any bit of negative self-image that may have crept in due to the challenge of being a size 16 single woman living in Los Angeles.

I had a first date this week  with this guy named Derek…who I met through a dating site for curvy girls.   Going on dates from the curvy site is usually less stressful for me since I know these men are going to LOVE my curves.  On other dating sites – for the general public – you run into the chance of meeting guys who don’t really like curvy girls, but will make exceptions… I don’t want to be anyone’s exception!

Anyhow, Derek is a few years younger than me.  I haven’t dated a younger man in lord knows how long and now I remember why.   Derek was very sweet, very cute, but not very in to me, even though he kissed me on the lips during dinner on our date (I HATE the first kiss being rushed).   He only texted me the next day – how rude – Life is just too short to spend time with a guy who is not head over heels for you.    I think texting is so impersonal.   At least, I got to dress up and go to a nice restaurant, so that was pleasant, but unfortunately just not a love connection.

What do you think about dating younger men (Derek excluded) and the whole cougar phenomenon?  Can true love ever bloom when there’s an age difference?  Younger women dating older men is an accepted norm in our society.  Is the reverse now true?

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