We are less than one month away from Valentines Day which means I can begin to plant seeds.  My mom taught me how to plant seeds when I was a teenager.  Like when I wanted to go out on a date with this cute boy who had his own car.  My dad hated that guy, his cocky attitude and little red mustang, but I adored him!  I knew my dad would say no so I went to my mom to ask…or in some cases, beg.  We both knew my dad would flip a lid so my mom would start planting seeds.  Little seeds in casual conversation “Sweetie, Lola is doing so well in school, I’m so proud of her” or “I can’t believe Lola is already 16!  She’s practically all grown up!”.  During the seed planting phase she would never, ever nag him.  Then she would take my Dad out to his favorite restaurant, or bring home a surprise for him and before you knew it, he was totally agreeable!  It was like magic!  I didn’t really appreciate my mom’s gift until I had to start using it myself.

My honey is an absolute doll but he has no clue when it comes to buying gifts.  He knows I love lingerie so I always know to expect it on Valentines Day, but after two years of red lace teddies I knew it was time to start planting.  I could never tell him I didn’t like what he picked – it would just crush him.  So I would parade around in the ridiculous outfits and pretend to love them.  I mean, I know it’s Valentines Day and everything but how much scratchy red lace can one person take?

I usually start planting seeds 2 or 3 weeks before Valentines Day knowing full well that he won’t actually go out to buy anything until the night before.  His procrastination explains his odd choices in intimates – he’s probably just picking up whatever’s left!  So I start by printing out my favorite pieces from the website and leaving them scattered around the house.  I write little notes on them so my master plan isn’t totally obvious.  Things like “looked great on fit model!” or “Coral color was amazing!”.  I always make sure to leave the style number so he can search for it on the website. To him they are just job related notes but something must happen subconsciously, because he always ends up buying them.  And not just one or two.  If I print out five styles he always buys all five!  He thinks he’s soooo sneaky reading my notes, little does he know

The most important piece of this plan is that I make a huge deal about how much I love the lingerie (and I do, ’cause I picked them!).  I make sure to wear them that night and continue to wear them throughout the year.  This makes him feel like a rock star – I’ve even heard him helping his friends pick out lingerie for their ladies!  He now fancies himself a lingerie connoisseur and I get to expand my lingerie collection.  Even though I do feel a little guilty sometimes, we both get to enjoy the purchases, so everyone wins

What are your Valentines Day tricks?

I felt so great about my progress until this morning, I opened up my panty drawer to look for a pair of panties to match a new bra I picked up at work.  Sigh.  I’ve really let my lingerie drawers go to shambles.  A disarray of tangled straps and panties that look like they’ve been to the dark side.  Garter belts with missing garters, nippie packaging with no nippies inside, a lone thigh high who lost her partner (I think I lost that in the back of someone’s car!  I hope he found it and not one of his friends – I’d never live that one down.) and that babydoll with the underwire poking out.  I promised myself I’d throw it out months ago but it brings back too many memories – like the first time my sweetie saw me in it then proceeded to rip it off of me.  That babydoll has really seen a lot of action this year.

This weekend I am going to clean out my lingerie drawers.  I’ve been inspired by that TV show “Clean House” so I know I’ll need two piles: Keep and Toss (Not  donate -  my crotchless panties have seen a lot of action and I don’t think anyone at the Goodwill wants worn underwear.  Well maybe a few pervs, but they’re not getting mine.)

Here is what I am thinking about tossing:

• All of the lingerie my boyfriend washed that turned grey
• Items with faded colors
• Things I haven’t worn this year – like those padded panties.  I mean really.  What was I thinking?  I already have enough junk in the trunk!
• Things that just don’t fit anymore
• Anything with holes or stretched out elastic

I’m ashamed that I work for a plus size lingerie company and I can’t even keep my lingerie addiction under control.  It seems so overwhelming, I have so many pieces!  What is the best way to organize my expansive collection of underthings?  I want beautifully arranged drawers of dedicates.   I’d love to hear what other people are doing!  Please share your organizing insights with me!

My secret new fantasy: (shhh….don’t tell anyone)

I will be dressed to kill wearing this plus size leather mini dress!  Bondage tape is a must! Cover my eyes with this sexy blindfold! I don’t want to see what you are doing to me! Get that leather whip out and spank me!  Or will I be the one doing the spanking?

Either way I’m in!
Grrrr….