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Guest Post: More To Love – A Male Perspective

We are delighted to welcome our guest blogger, Matthew, to share his thoughts about the new reality series, “More to Love”.


Diva…More to Love…Ruby…Biggest Loser…

It seems like the entire world is focused on weight issues… bigger girls, whether shown in a positive or negative light seem to sell advertising space!

Everyone has a different set of physical attractions that guide their libidos.  For me, a curvy woman fuels my interest far more than a woman that looks like a pre-pubescent 12 year old boy. So my lascivious self was very interested to catch the newest FOX dating show in the bachelorette and bachelor franchise… “More to Love”.

The show started as expected, big people all looking for the right one… or the right one, right now.  Either way, the premise is that with all of these larger ladies in the same room and in the same situation, there would be an absence of judgment calls and haters.

The problem started with the height and weight announcements blazing across the screen of every contestant in what seemed to be 15 second intervals. The first few times were not an issue for me, as they called to remind me that this show was supposed to be different. However, after reminding us 10 times…. I yelled at the screen, “Ok, we get it! They are fat… move on!”

And that’s the issue with the remainder of the show…they neglected to move on or ever make it about the dating, the silliness of the dating or the drama. It was solely about how fat people are just as fearful and neurotic as everyone else.  By the way, is fat a politically correct term? If not, please insert your favorite ‘above average’ weight label here. Personally, I like to refer to myself as calorically enhanced.

Dear producers, would it not have been more powerful to cast strong, confident women on the show that just so happen to be a size 16?  Watching Ms. 3000 calorie a day girl cry her eyes out because she believes that no one will ever love her due to her size just reconfirms our stereotyped vision of bigger people. The look of pleading eyes and desperation when they don’t get picked to move on to the next round of disaster just showcases that these girls didn’t think once that it may be that they had the personality of  a dishrag. They blamed everything on the fact that they had far too many cupcakes in their body.

How will people finally learn to stop perceiving big girls as wrong… unless the girls themselves start believing that they are ok?

Ladies…be proud of your size…. wear it, own it.   If you are miserable, then lose the weight.  However, if you want the world to look at you with acceptance, show it to us first.

Will I watch the show again?   Perhaps to see if it gets better and less stereotypical, but mostly for the pleasure I get from finally seeing sexy, curvy women on TV.

–

Matthew Gladstone is by trade an executive chef both in the private sector and the restaurant industry.  When he is not slaving over a hot stove he enjoys his home life in West Hollywood with his hot girlfriend Christine and his perfect, adorable dog Domino.

Besides his passion for the creation of fabulous upscale comfort foods, Matthew loves writing reviews and blogs, watching movies, drinking champagne and playing the violin.

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Comments:6

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  1. Salty Phoenix
    09/08/02

    damn right. rock on.

    fabulous perspective! keep ‘em coming!

    la salty

  2. Michel
    09/08/03

    Thank you! I was also disappointed in the fact that is seemed that all of the women had self-esteem issues. I would have loved to see 20 CONFIDENT, curvy women.

  3. Johara
    09/08/03

    Yes, would it have killed the producers to cast CONFIDENT plus size women. I met some of them at the Brooklyn casting call so they can’t say none applied. It’s obvious they were looking for the women who would keep crying and feeding into the stereotype. I love this post and love it from a male perspective.

  4. Ariluv
    09/08/04

    Heck I would’ve settled for 5 confident women. I was so disappointed that these women were chosen not because of their size but because of their insecurities about their size. I’ve never let my size get in the way of my happiness especially when it comes to relationships.

    I wish these women would stop making excuses and realize they are the only thing standing in their own way.

  5. Catherine
    09/08/04

    I also wished that whomever styled them would have done a better job…they all looked like bloated prom queens in those dresses….and I agree about their self love being the only one that needed to matter. There are soooooo many women in the world who are gorgeous, stylish, attractive, curvy and extremely confident. Right out the gate, the producers needed to get that majorly in check. No one likes pity, whether self induced or otherwise. I didn’t identify with them at all…also that woman jumping in the pool was ridiculous. Another chick who has to get all the attention because of a raging insecurity moment was embarrassing. It was awkward and just shows the level of self esteem on the part of the women chosen. Great to see Emme, but I thought she was totally underutiilzed. Hope they use her postive, can do attitude a little more.

  6. Robyn
    09/08/08

    Actually I am going to have to disagree. For one, you cannot expect women that have been critisized and picked on their entire lifes to all of a sudden put on a mask of self confidence that is not really there just to please a live audience. This is true to life. This is reality. Most heavy women are not self confident…I don’t think you should be critisizing these women for being who they are. It’s not easy when you have led a life where you have been put second to skinny women to just all of a sudden, like magic, pick yourself up and pretend to be confident. I think that is one reason they are on the show in the first place. It takes alot of strength to appear on TV in front of millions of viewers and that in itself shows that they are making an effort to better themselves by putting themselves out there in the first place. Instead of being critical start being more empathetic and passionate. The world needs more of that.

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