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Dance YOUR Ass Off

Oh the beauty of dance. The exhilarating, floating feeling. Moving the body, at times close to another and touching. Bending, feeling…oh the feeling.

Dance excludes no one. Dance expresses and moves our souls. No matter the beat, no matter the body…dance.

Ahhhh…

There. I just wanted to positively express myself for one glorious moment before I begin the barrage. This attitude is usually not my style of speaking or writing for that matter. However, another television show has emerged, which on the surface appeared to be lovely. I believe I must sound off.

Plus-sized bodies, moving to the music. Dressed in fabulous attire. Sexy even. Laughing and having so much fun. Oxygen’s new show, “Dance Your Ass Off”, has begun. At first blush, I was excited. And then I discovered the premise.

Fat bodies. (And I use the term Fat with love, please see my previous article titled: Fat…the F Word) Moving. Great dancing with some amazing dancers. (Insert the sound of the record screeching.) Great…now change. Beautiful…now change. Big people…now change.

This is the message that we, as a society, are sent so often. This is the message that I personally would love to help silence. If even to turn it down a notch or two.

“Dancing With The Stars” or “So You Think You Can Dance”, these shows don’t come with an agenda of any sort. Smaller, thinner people are not expected to dance AND change. There is no outwaReversible Leopard Bustierrd expectation other than to compete and the best dancer wins. Period.

The message currently being sent to society is this: Fat people can dance, but the contest is in the losing of weight.  Not just be GREAT as you are…because apparently, this is not good enough.

I was so excited to see some great costuming on this show.Many pieces come from our beloved Hips and Curves. Gorgeous pieces. Sexy. Finally, an outward representation of how great my plus sisters can look in an eye-popping piece of lingerie. And it is on TV!!! But the reason these dancers are on this show is to show us, the viewing public, that you can be fat as long as the intent is to “fit in”, be acceptable.I am not going to buy into it. Below is my credo:

I honor these dancers for the talents that they are.

I am applauding “Hips and Curves” and any other lingerie, clothing, sexy-as-hell clothing retailers for continuing to bring us quality and fun on a regular basis.


I will not “hate” my thin friends or colleagues, but appreciate ALL body types and sizes.

I will continue to look at people as “humans” not simply “bodies”.

I refuse to think of myself as “less-than” and will keep looking lovingly at myself in the mirror.

I ask you, to join me. Please join me. Talk to me here and tell me what you think.

Thanks Hips and Curves. Not only for the great products, but also for a place for ALL to come and read some great content and speak out and just BE.

With love from a Fat Dancer….xoxo Wendy

Comments:13

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  1. Laurie
    09/07/17

    (continued)We are a society of comformists & the montra of the media is for all to be
    thin, Paradoxically the US is a country that encourages the individual effort to achieve his or her own ideal. The message we want to send to young people
    who are impressionable and easily influenced is be the best you, you can be and give your self permission to accept & love yourself!

  2. Laurie
    09/07/17

    )We are a society of comformists & the montra of the media is for all to be
    thin, Paradoxically the US is a country that encourages the individual effort to achieve his or her own ideal. The message we want to send to young people
    who are impressionable and easily influenced is be the best you, you can be and give your self permission to accept & love yourself!

  3. JoJo
    09/07/17

    Wendy, you always hit the nail on the head! Here is the thing, I am round but I don’t see or think of myself as “fat” or “plus sized” or “large” – I think of myself as… ME! Too bad there are so many people who only look at outside appearances and make judgements or assumptins based on that.

  4. Cheryl W
    09/07/17

    I haven’t seen the show but my comment is not just for the show. I believe that the reason for most people who are not satisfied with something about themselves is because they do not love themselves.

    In order to love others, you have to love yourself. That’s how I was finally able to lose a little weight. When I didn’t love myself nothing good happened for me. Once I was able to love myself for who I am inside, the weight fell off effortlessly. Now many other good things are happening to me just because I changed the way I look at things.

    You always get what you think about whether you want it or not, and if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.

    Be Happy for who you are….a unique gift from the Universe.

  5. christina
    09/07/18

    WOW! I was mislead ALSO! I’ve never watched the show but i seen it being advertised. dance your ass off! in a way i kinda knew though that they wanted to lose weight, and I think its ok, if they want to get toned up or lose a little weight, but that happens naturally in the process of just loving yourself as you are while you dance! In my opinion it wouldnt be wise for losing weight to be the MAIN focus! A friend recently told me, “yeah its usually the people who dont worry about their weight so much, that dont gain any”

    Its true, then if your not worried about it only your natural body will show. AND THATS THE ONE I LOVE!

    PEACE :)

  6. Shelley
    09/07/19

    Wendy, insightful and on-target as always! Society’s pressures are difficult to resist. Thank you for helping to lead the charge.

  7. David
    09/07/19

    Wendy you did it again!! You saw through the fog of what was advertised and got root of what was being delivered. It is a shame that “Commercial TV” feels we (the public) need more of a premise then big girls can dance and be lovely doing it.

    Thanks for the credo!!! I am also going to follow suite on all the points!!

    Thanks so much for this article!! I was very glad to see a post from you, I really missed your wisdom in between them!!

    David

  8. carol
    09/07/20

    Wendy
    Will the time ever come when weight is not the primary goal of societal observation? As you state in your article, why can’t these women be seen as energetic, beautiful, fun loving people for the sake of just being a human being – rather than tacking on the weight issues.

    Dancing is the free flowing, forget the world kind of activity that lends itself to positive energy and fun and should be viewed this way for ALL people who choose to participate – it is what it is -pure Joy!

    My mantra for you and everyone who makes a choice to be who they are regardless of numbers is…”I Hope You Dance”.

    Love Ya Lady!
    Carol

  9. Jacqui
    09/07/22

    I agree, why can’t they just be admired for their skill in dancing, instead of having some ultimate goal of losing weight? I am a curvy girl and I can dance better than most of my more svelte friends, and yet many who look only at my size would never expect that.

    I think that many of the contestants are discouraged because they don’t lose weight instead of being proud of learning a new skill or mastering a dance.

    Way to say it Wendy.

  10. Tina
    09/07/23

    Hi Wendy,

    You are an inspiration as usual!

    And I completely agree. When I first heard of this show’s release I was excited to see a dance competition (yes, it was advertised as a DANCE competition, not a Wight Loss competition) that would show off the skills, talents and beauty of full figured women. When I saw the true, less advertised, premise I was so disappointed.
    I had hoped that this would be a show to encourage these contestants, these gorgeous women, to become more comfortable and more acknowledging of their beauty and grace on the dancefloor as well as their beauty and strength as women. Dance is about opening up to yourself and loving your body and abilities, not about self-conscious efforts to change who you should be proud to be in the first place.

  11. B in MI
    09/08/02

    I didn’t even watch one minute of the program because I thought it was going to be something like “The Biggest Loser” and I guess I was right. I was recently at a 4th of July party and my husband and I danced all night and I actually had a “skinny” girl tell me that I didn’t look like I was in good enough shape to dance like that. My response to her was “round is a shape and I can roll with the best of them!” As long as you can be happy with yourself that’s all that matters and I am glad that I am finally to that point!

  12. venus
    09/08/13

    I just want to say that Wenday I agree with you 100% you said better than i could say it. I am a lovely pluz size woman who loves ballroom dancing, Tango is my favorite dance and I have been taken classes for 5 years and love it. My much skinner sister said “oh I know you like this show because it has fat women like me,” I told her I would not be watching the show becasue of what it stands for, and wendy you express my feeling perfectly.

    I dance out of joy and love of dancing not to just lose weight,yes you can loose some pounds but I dance for the love and passsion and in this society people seem to feel plus size woman cannot do things out of love and passion , they only do things just to loose weight.

  13. Megan
    09/08/26

    Great article! Heaven forbid we have a show showcasing beautiful woman who are not a size two. I am a small person and in no way want to bash skinny girls but I get so frustrated when I hear of shows like this, or hear of people commenting on celebrities gaining weight as if it changes who the person is or their attractiveness level. A person’s weight does not define them.

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