Re-define the Norm

Okay. I was having a girls’ night the other night and before the movie we started talking about women’s studies and somehow got onto the topic of women’s image. We went all over the place; talking about suffrage, women’s rights, the lack of chivalry and politeness in general (sorry guys, but chivalry just isn’t as common as it used to be!) and of course, women’s self esteem and self-image in the world today.

There once was a time any man would hurry to open a door or pull out a chair. You would pass by and hats would tip to you left and right. In the society we live in now, that has become a rarity. These days it’s more common than not, to have an elevator door close on you as you rush to make it in, and hats are left on as if stuck with superglue.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying all men behave like this. It’s just the number of those who have lost their manners has increased dramatically over the last few generations. There are still some men (and if you find one, keep him!) that will open the door for you, and not only you. To be a true gentleman they will hold it for you and the group walking in behind you. They will hurry to open your car door, and let you pass ahead of them as you walk through a tight squeeze on the sidewalk.

Some would argue that this decline in society contributes to the lack of self esteem and self respect that we see in the women of today. I even heard a close friend of mine say “Men make me feel the worst about myself. Sometimes I feel as if I don’t even deserve to have a door held open for me anymore.” We know it isn’t anything personal men, but women are complicated and observant beings and the little things mean a lot. I’m sure it also stems from the difference in how boys and girls are raised. Girls are brought up awaiting their fairytale prince and being told to stay clear of the wrong kind of guy. However boys these days are being taught less and less about manners and chivalry, replacing Cotillion with PS3′s and YouTube.

And of course, media does not help the cause much. Media portrays women as size 0-5, with skin and bones as the “accepted norm” and the attitude that anyone above that must be unhealthy or have an eating disorder.

In reality, the average size of the American woman is a size 14. That’s right, a size 14. So why should the media’s view of beauty not reflect the true beauty of the average woman? A woman’s curves help to define the difference between the sexes, they are the embodiment of femininity and should be praised, not scorned or hidden if they’re not the “accepted norm”. We need to realize our individual beauty, in and out, no matter if we are a size 2 or 20, or if a door is held for us or not.

It is up to us as women to find our self-respect within, and not to let our image of ourselves be defined by media’s skewed perspectives or by the actions or lack thereof of others. Women are strong creatures, full of love and life, wisdom and perseverance. Embrace your femininity, embrace your individuality, and love your curves just as they are!