Curvy Confidential

There are days when I feel comfortable in my own skin and other days…not so much.   I thought by this time in my life I would have found a happy medium, but as wise person keeps telling me, “it’s a journey, enjoy it”.

Sometimes I get signals that I am doing the right thing – accepting my body just as it is.  One of those signals was an article in the Los Angeles Times I came across on Sunday morning entitled “She Is Who She Is”.  The “she” is singer/song writer, Adele.   With an angelic, seductive face, curvy figure and a soulful voice far beyond her young age of 21, Adele is making history in more ways than one.

I am a huge fan of Adele’s music, but I’m an even bigger fan of her confidence.   It’s amazing to me that some one almost half my age has the ability to be true to herself, and stand strong in an industry that prefers thin, cookie cutter pop stars who do exactly what they are told.  Not Adele, she is her own girl.  As she says,

I’ve gotten this far without looking like Britney Spears. I think I can go a bit further.

But what I like most about the article is that Adele is confident about her size and feels there is room for everyone and every size.  Adele says,

The most important thing is the way that someone carries themselves.  If they feel comfortable, they carry themselves differently.

That is so true, there is nothing sexier or more fashionable than a confident woman.  A woman can be successful no matter what her size.  And there are many others Etta James, Jennifer Hudson, Beth Ditto and Jill Scott,  all successful and all true to themselves.

Adele, just like the others, followed her dreams and carved out her own path.   Girls, we cannot let anything hold us back!  Let’s embrace who we are and never apologize for it.  Let’s celebrate all woman, all shapes, all sizes.

Lets keep the confidence going like Adele.   Check out the entire article here.

Last weekend I went to Malibu beach with my dear friend Ross who was visiting from Texas. Ross is 6’7” so standing next to him in my 5’8” bare feet makes me feel petite!  I decided to wear my new black bikini and polka dot sarong and carry my Hips and Curves tote bag for our day at the beach.   We arrived, spotted a nice secluded place and set up our blankets and umbrellas.  It was perfect nap weather so we stripped down to our swimsuits and sunscreen, laid hand in hand, and soaked up a little sun while the breeze blew and the waves crashed.  There is something very special about being with good friends and sharing quiet time.

My little moment of heaven was interrupted, however, by a group of young people who decided to set up camp next to us.  My first reaction was being annoyed for losing our peace and quiet, but that was quickly replaced by a brief, panicky moment of self awareness that I was laying in a bikini, all 250lbs of me, without a sarong or anything.

‘”Please lord, don’t let these kids make any fat jokes about me in front of my best friend.”

I flashed back to 5 years ago when I was kissing a cute guy outside a club and some idiot shouted, “Damn, that is one big woman!” I could have curled up and died of embarrassment.

With that memory buzzing in my mind, I just tried to focus on how nice it felt to be at the beach and how I had every right to be there in my bikini as much as anyone else.   I blocked out all the conversation, all the noise and just connected with nature.

I am usually confident in my appearance so these things rarely cross my mind, but there is something about being in a bikini that can tear down the self assurance of any respectable gorgeous woman.  I had to do a little extra work on my self esteem muscle this time to remind myself that me and my luscious curves deserve to enjoy a day at the beach, even in LA!

Want to discuss this further? Check out our FORUM

It is officially summer! I love summer, even though as adults we don’t get a summer vacation, there is something different in the air. Things I love about summer are eating outside, walking my dog in the warm evening air, eating an ice cream cone, enjoying a drink with an umbrella and the smell of the BBQ and sun tan lotion.

I have always struggled with my summer wardrobe. Looking through magazines and knowing that most things will not fit, I was almost always disappointed. Since working at Hips and Curves, I am no longer disappointed. Shopping on the site I know everything is in my size. Girls with curves REJOICE, summer is here; let’s show some skin! Whether you are a sun block girl or a sun worshiper, flaunt what you have.

Here are my must haves for a great summer wardrobe:

First a new bra, bright colors are back, I suggest the Molded Underwire Bra With Push-up Padding in pink or Essential Everyday T-shirt Bra available in lime (my favorite) or turquoise.

Next is the Damn Sexy tank Damn Sexy Goth Tank , it looks great with shorts, jeans or a skirt and looks fun with a bright bra.

Another staple that flatters all bums is the Cheeky Lace Boy Leg, in great new colors, very berry and purple.

Relaxing around the house? Try a cool cotton Cami Jami Set, it covers just enough for a quick trip to the coffee shop for an iced latte.

We all need shorts for sizzling summer days so this summer try a rose floral print boxer for something different. Comfy cotton boxers in just the right length are cute enough for a romp outside or for a trip to the pool. Continue Reading »

You know everyone is going green these days.

Driving hybrids, or taking the bus. Recycling everything they can, or reusing what they can. Everyone is trying to do their part.

Well, I am too. I have several reusable shopping bags that I try to use whenever I shop. But recently, I haven’t been using them. To be honest, I find them boring, and not very cute. You never know who you could meet at the grocery store, right?

So, lately, I have been using our absolutely fabulous, Hips and Curves Signature Tote Bag. I love this bag! And I’m not saying this because my boss is behind me This is a great tote for everything.

I’ve used it for my laundry, for a quick trip to a friend’s house, and yes, to the grocery store. I was at my favorite store, Trader Joe’s, minding my own business, picking out my favorite snacks. As I was turning to go into another aisle, this lovely woman walked right up to me and said, ‘That is the cutest bag.’ I replied, ‘Thank you so much’ I walked away with a little spring in my step, saying thank goodness I forgot the ugly bags at home. I don’t know if that woman checked out our site, or ordered one of our totes. I hope that she did!

So ladies, I’m not saying you have to buy our bag, but maybe consider it. Everyone needs some cute in their normal routine.

Like This? Discuss more on our Forum

Time flies at Hips and Curves, but this week seems to have gone by even faster.  On Monday, the stylists were busy coordinating looks for a big photo shoot.   Tuesday, meetings, meetings and more meetings.  I was excited to report that tons of orders were being placed for the Essential Everyday T-shirt Bra in our featured summer colors, lime and turquoise.   I personally love the lime and need to get my order in   Wednesday the office was electric again.  Last minute samples were arriving for the shoot, stylists were coordinating looks – corsets, thigh highs, shoes, bras and panties.

Thursday was a group effort getting everything ready for the shoot.   The crew built a beautiful set using one of our new harem canopies and spent a large part of the day setting up lighting and scenes.  The stylists were busy putting together the final pieces for each look, steaming lingerie, pulling shoes and hosiery from the wardrobe closet and staging and labeling each look on clothing racks.

When Friday arrived there was a buzz in the air. The model arrived and took her seat in hair and make-up. The make up artist, hair stylist, photographer and wardrobe assistants discussed the looks and shots for the day.   Then, with lights on, fans blowing and music blaring, the model arrived on set in a red jacquard corset and a stunning long black slinky ruched skirt.  It was then that the magic began.  Everyone’s hard work and long hours paid off. Ideas, meetings and samples came to life for the first time.  The shoot was a success.

PS – Make sure you check out the “behind the scenes” email newsletter for more!  If you’re not already signed up, you can sign up here.

PSS – The stylists used my suggestion for one of the outfits – the underbust corsest with the ruffle trim demi bra!

I had another date this week and his name was Marcus… who I also met on the curvy girl site.  He is a partner at his law firm (sounds exciting, but actually means he never has time to spend with you).  He is a single father, marriage and family minded, a few years older than me, and incredibly intelligent.   Seemed too good to be true, right?  He took me out for drinks and a little dancing in a really cool place downtown, but unfortunately there weren’t sufficient sparks to make a fire.   Also considering he lives in San Diego, is a snorer, and emotionally high maintenance, it was mutually decided to not pursue a second date.  

One thing about Marcus that troubled me was that in his profile he listed his body type as average – but in reality he was at least 300lbs.   I wish people wouldn’t misrepresent themselves that way.  I’ve dated stocky/chubby guys in the past, but I think I’m developing a preference for lean and fit guys.   I realize this sounds hypocritical, but if men can have a preference for curvy girls, then I think it’s fair for me to have a preference for fit guys…. We all have our preferences, right?

 What do you think?  Is it “sizist” to have a preference in physique?

They looked so very happy.  He was holding her from behind, swaying to the music coming from the band playing on the outdoor stage ahead of them.  She would turn to him and they would kiss a bit, hug one another and then dance together some more.  They were probably in their early to mid twenties and it was a pleasure to watch them. 

I wanted to go talk to them, find out their story, and ask how they met and how long they had been a couple.  I didn’t.  I was with some dear friends and didn’t want to leave the wonderful spot that I was in listening to the same great band while I was soaking up the sun and the love from the friendship circle that I was with.

Why is it that some people so easily find a great partner while others seem to be in a holding pattern, circling around and around, never really finding a place to land…or someone to land on?  Grin.    Is it really as some say, that only thin and beautiful women get to have the dating/loving fun?  I hear so many women saying that they need to lose weight.  And when I ask them what losing weight would do for them, their answers are pretty standard.

“I could have a boyfriend if I were thinner.”

“I would have better self-esteem.”

“Fat people can’t get a good job.”

“I could have better clothes, nothing for fat people looks good.”

The list is long and distinguished and I am always willing to listen.  And then lovingly, am always willing to give the advice that I am CERTAIN they want from me.  Ok, so maybe not everyone is looking for my advice, but I generally offer it anyhow.

I like to say that you can hang anything on “THE FAT TREE”, but it is pretty crazy.  You know it, right?  The fat tree:  If I were thinner I would have better clothes, a better job, better sex, better friends, better anything.  So they hang everything on the “Fat Tree.”  And the tree shakes and shudders under the weight of all of the crap hung on it. Continue Reading »

We are always busy at Hips and Curves and today was no exception.  I love so many things about working at Hips and Curves but what I really like is that we are always thinking outside of the box. 

I received an email about a week ago requesting my presence at a brainstorming meeting.  The email asked me to bring any and all ideas, no matter how big or small, to our holiday corset design meeting.    I went on line and researched my wish list of vintage corset ideas, my dreams of an hourglass figure and the added plus of great posture were in my sights.  Am I the only girl that loves the “Marilyn” figure?

Today was the day.   With my wish list in hand I kicked my shoes off, grabbed a seat on one of our many comfy couches along with everyone else and the fun began.   Everyone brought their “A” game, big, small, extravagant, wild and sexy; all ideas were welcome in this brainstorming event!  Marcy was writing down feverishly as one idea topped the next.  Pizza was delivered and the ideas kept coming for an amazing few hours. 

That was fun – I am so excited to see the final list.  I really do hope a couple ideas from my wish list make the cut.    Stay tuned to see which beautiful new corsets made the coveted list! 

 By the way, did you all order the Contessa? I am waiting for mine, oh and the Cinderella petticoat!

I just came back from a nice vacation with family in Texas and have re-entered the dating scene running – and with fresh enthusiasm and confidence.   There is something about being in Texas – with strong, healthy, BIG, down-to-earth people that really fortifies me and erases any bit of negative self-image that may have crept in due to the challenge of being a size 16 single woman living in Los Angeles.

I had a first date this week  with this guy named Derek…who I met through a dating site for curvy girls.   Going on dates from the curvy site is usually less stressful for me since I know these men are going to LOVE my curves.  On other dating sites – for the general public – you run into the chance of meeting guys who don’t really like curvy girls, but will make exceptions… I don’t want to be anyone’s exception!

Anyhow, Derek is a few years younger than me.  I haven’t dated a younger man in lord knows how long and now I remember why.   Derek was very sweet, very cute, but not very in to me, even though he kissed me on the lips during dinner on our date (I HATE the first kiss being rushed).   He only texted me the next day – how rude – Life is just too short to spend time with a guy who is not head over heels for you.    I think texting is so impersonal.   At least, I got to dress up and go to a nice restaurant, so that was pleasant, but unfortunately just not a love connection.

What do you think about dating younger men (Derek excluded) and the whole cougar phenomenon?  Can true love ever bloom when there’s an age difference?  Younger women dating older men is an accepted norm in our society.  Is the reverse now true?

Okay. I was having a girls’ night the other night and before the movie we started talking about women’s studies and somehow got onto the topic of women’s image. We went all over the place; talking about suffrage, women’s rights, the lack of chivalry and politeness in general (sorry guys, but chivalry just isn’t as common as it used to be!) and of course, women’s self esteem and self-image in the world today.

There once was a time any man would hurry to open a door or pull out a chair. You would pass by and hats would tip to you left and right. In the society we live in now, that has become a rarity. These days it’s more common than not, to have an elevator door close on you as you rush to make it in, and hats are left on as if stuck with superglue.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying all men behave like this. It’s just the number of those who have lost their manners has increased dramatically over the last few generations. There are still some men (and if you find one, keep him!) that will open the door for you, and not only you. To be a true gentleman they will hold it for you and the group walking in behind you. They will hurry to open your car door, and let you pass ahead of them as you walk through a tight squeeze on the sidewalk.

Some would argue that this decline in society contributes to the lack of self esteem and self respect that we see in the women of today. I even heard a close friend of mine say “Men make me feel the worst about myself. Sometimes I feel as if I don’t even deserve to have a door held open for me anymore.” We know it isn’t anything personal men, but women are complicated and observant beings and the little things mean a lot. I’m sure it also stems from the difference in how boys and girls are raised. Girls are brought up awaiting their fairytale prince and being told to stay clear of the wrong kind of guy. However boys these days are being taught less and less about manners and chivalry, replacing Cotillion with PS3’s and YouTube. Continue Reading »